okcupid

First and foremost, I agree with most of the things you say here (didn’t see that coming though!) – IF THINGS ARE NOT MUTUAL, as they were with the friends used as example. If she truly didn’t like what was happening, and she had all these boundaries and he had none, then that’s never a good situation. There are *NO* good relationships, no matter how monogamous, that come from disrespect, and lack of communication and trust.

However. My agreement ends there. I fully believe that open relationships, polyamory, etc, can exist in happy, healthy relationships. Yes, sometimes people are fooling themselves, but it’s dangerous and inappropriate to decide for other people what is good for them based on how *we* feel about something. There are plenty of examples of relationships that are not what you might want, Feisty, but that actually ARE loving, trusting, caring, and very committed. They just don’t fit your mold. That’s ok and it DOES work for them. It is not fake, they are not full of bullshit or pain, they do have rules and boundaries just like everyone else that they follow, and the other people don’t “get in the way”.