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I once had a 36-year-old man who I hadn’t yet been out with ask me to come to his house on a Saturday at midnight and “chill.” I almost threw my phone away and became the first Jewish woman to join a convent when this happened because it made me so damn depressed. First of all, I prefer to not get murdered on Saturdays, thanks. Second of all, you’re almost 40 years old. GET IT TOGETHER.

We are all worthy of a real date. It doesn’t have to be fancy. If you don’t have a lot of money to spend, that’s okay. Meet for a few drinks at an inexpensive place. Grab a coffee and walk around the park. Find free activities near you. Every city has them. Just put some thought into it and schedule it ahead of time. It’s a sign of respect and it shows you’re serious in a world that’s totally not serious about dating and relationships anymore.

I know we can all do better than “Netflix and chill” or “hey what are you up to?” on Friday at midnight. I believe in us.

Communicating in the early stages of a relationship is like “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” It’s very easy to do too much or too little. You’ve either got a person who falls off the face of the planet or you’ve got someone who’s tweeting you, commenting on your Facebook posts, and resurrecting your MySpace page demanding to be in your top 8, all before you’ve had your first cup of coffee. When you find someone who’s successfully able to strike that communication balance, that’s special.