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One comment
The empathic answers. To what extent are they necessary?
Let's see if I explain. When we refer to the term empathy it is necessary to bear in mind that in many occasions it is not necessary to give an answer to the person in front of us, that is, we want to be empathetic by giving answers that in most cases are not empathic. So, what is the best empathic response? Probably the best empathic response is to give no answer. So is. Empathic people are those who stand out not for what they respond, but for their ability to listen.
To be empathetic you do not need to give answers, but to listen actively to the other. This is what I called emphatic listening or listening with and from the heart. This may surprise you. For that reason my intention is to show you types of answers that in appearance are empathic, but that, if you examine them in depth, you will realize that they are not.
What then is the best empathic response?
The best empathic response is the one you can give through listening, not the answer. What it is about is being able to be present, of being in front of the other with the five senses. And that is achieved by emptying your mind and listening to the other person with your whole being. So,
Empathy consists in the ability to be present
In fact, when a person comes to communicate something, in most cases he does not seek an answer, but consolation. And the best consolation does not have to be offered in the form of an answer, that is, what people really want is to be heard, to transfer their feelings. Is knowing how to interpret the moment in which the other person transmits the following wish
I just want you to listen to me
Listening without answering has enormous value because active listening is normally free of judgment, opinion and evaluation. When you listen without giving an answer, what you get is to focus all the attention on the message that person is transmitting to you. Listening without responding offers time and space to the other to freely express their feelings and thoughts, thus facilitating that you feel understood by you. In this sense there is a saying that sums it up perfectly:
Do not do anything, just be
The 9 types of non-empathic responses.
1. Advisory. I think you should…
2. Comforting Do not feel guilty. You have done what you can best.
Staff That's nothing! I once…
4. Narrative. That reminds me of the story ...
5. Relative. Cheer up! Surely ...
6. Conditional. You can learn from this if ...
7. Corrective. Not so .
8. Interrogative And because…?
9. Excusator . I would have loved to help you, but ...
Examples of non-empathic responses
Imagine that a student tells you the following sentence:
"I have suspended the math test with a four."
Now I will apply the nine types of non-empathic responses. Judge yourself the answers:
1. Advisory. I think you should have planned the week better, since you had a lot of evidence concentrated in a few days.
2. Comforting Do not be sad. Surely in the exam you have given the best of you.
3. Staff Do not worry! I used to suspend mathematics at your age and see how far I've come.
4. Narrative. You just reminded me of the day I was suspended from a music test with a four. I remember as if it were the exam and the questions today.
5. Relative. Cheer up! You'll see how the next one goes much better. It is not so much.
6. Conditional. Surely you can approve the next one if you look at the mistakes you've made in this exam.
7. Corrective. You know perfectly the reason why you have not passed this math test.
8. Interrogative And why do you think you've taken this note on the math test?
9. Excusator . I would have liked to have been able to help you with the exam, but mathematics is not my strength. Essay Help Writing Service UK